Cancer

My neighbour (friend) has got cancer. This is not something new. He was diagnosed three years ago. Since then he has had his voice box removed and parts of his colon. He has had several sessions of chemical therapy but now is house bound having to feed himself through a tube directly into the stomach. All this sounds really grim. But he has a great sense of humour. He fires off witticism after witticism via SMS; is an avid film buff (watched on some very impressive systems); dabbles on the internet; does all his own cleaning and makes desks and cupboards with expert craftsmanship. It has always been a pleasure and inspiration to be with him.
That is until two weeks ago. Suddenly everything changed. His humour disappeared. He became sullen, depressed, inactive, aggressive (all of the things I would have been had it been me with his illness!). He doe not want to see me, or anyone else. My feelings (which are, of course, of little importance in the scheme of things) are utterly confused. I want to help, but am turned away. I know there is little I can do. This makes for an awful reversal of the subject of concern. I am concerned, without having to emphasise too much, about his condition, but now I also think about what is going on inside me.

We are all weak in our ways.